MANILA, NOVEMBER 8, 2003  (BULLETIN) Adrian E.. Cristobal - YOU, the people, have been seeking a truthful leader who can save the country. In a word, a truthful leader is also a savior. I submit to you that I am that leader.

You will have every reason to trust me, for I am running for president under a party that I have created myself. Itís called the Do-Nothing Party. And truthfully, that is what I am committed to: Doing nothing.

You have had experience with many presidents who promised to do many things. You were disappointed. I will not disappoint you, for at the outset, Iím telling you I will do nothing but just be president.

I will do nothing about the budget deficit, inflation, and the foreign debt.

I will do nothing about the peace-and-order situation, nothing about the war with our Muslim brothers or the communists, Bonapartists, drug dealers, and other vexations.

I will do nothing about your right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. In a word, I will leave you alone. I will not interfere, intervene, and interject myself in your private and public life, for truthfully, I am incapable of doing it to your satisfaction. I will not disappoint you because you can expect nothing from me.

Consequently, you will have nothing to bitch about my leadership. You will be free to solve your economic, political, personal, and cultural problems by yourself, in whatever way you please. If you want to be safe, you will have to provide for your own safety. Itís all up to you if you want to obey or violate traffic rules; in fact, there will be no rules. If you want to lead contented lives, itís up to you. If you want to prosper, thatís all up to you.

My radical philosophy of Do-Nothing has been endorsed by many, according to my campaign manager, Rep. Prospero Nograles, and Minister of Enlightenment, Jessie Paredes.

Our problems have their roots in leaders who were always trying to do something and end up doing nothing for the people.

Well, at least you know where I am going: Nowhere, the other name for Utopia.

Reported by: Sol Jose Vanzi

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